wickedmynx (spidergwen) wrote,
wickedmynx
spidergwen

The Twilight Review...



So I've been anticipating the arrival of the film version of the book Twilight ever since I picked up the book. No, I'm not a twitard, I'm strictly a Buffy girl myself and there has yet to be anything to EVER come close to being as fabulous as she. It's my guilty pleasure that in real life, I'd never tell a soul I'd actually enjoyed the books. They were entertaining in a sense that they were so incredibly bad that you just couldn't help but feel you walked in on your significant other masturbating and giggled like you were twelve years old again.

So I made sure no one was in my room when I started the film on youtube. I had a heath bar, a diet pepsi and nuttymadam on the sidebar ready, before I clicked play... And then the glory of how bad the movie actually was turned into something else...

It was so horrible that it turned into something ~*AMAZING*~. Shocking, I know. It's like the VHS 80s horror flick you keep in your collection to watch whenever you're in a bad mood to lighten your spirits. One movie that you have to watch over and over to get all of the lulz of how dramatic it attempts to be.

One perfect example is the classroom scene where Edward(The pedophile vampire) gets a whiff of Bella's scent. The scene in which you'd think Bella has a really bad yeast infection that clears an entire room and Edward's repulsion to her will leave you in tears of laughter. It gets even funny when remarks about her smell at Edward's house go quick into lesbian territory.

These scenes plus the dialogue will keep you endlessly entertained.

Edward: "You are like a drug to me; my own personal brand of heroin."

In which Edward discusses how her scent and blood are very ~*INTOXICATING*~

The next is my personal favorite when Edward reveals himself in the sunlight and ~*dazzles*~ Bella as he ~*SPARKLES*~

Bella: "Like diamonds.. You're beautiful"
Edward: "Beautiful.. This is the skin of a killer"

All in all I give this movie 5 Claire Bears in the sense that you will laugh your ass off which is NOT what it's intended to do. Most twitards believe this to be the next 'Notebook,' I BELIEVE it to be this years 'The Happening'(Which is ALSO FABULOUSLY horrible *THE TREES!! THE TREES R GUNNA KEEL ME!! RUN FROM THE WIND!!!*)
Tags: twilight review
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